“Don’t count the days, make the days count.” That’s what the little wooden sign that’s supposed to look hand-carved says. It’s sitting above the counter in a coffee shop, full of people dressed like a lumberjack traded half of his outfit with a senile professor. I’m pretty sure I’m not cool enough for this coffee shop.
I’m just here for the free wifi, and I don’t like coffee so I’m drinking hot chocolate, with a bunch of whipped cream. The Barista made me feel like I was about 6 years old when I ordered it, but I don’t really care, hot chocolate tastes good, and it’s less of a gamble than trying to remember which of the coffee drinks tastes the least like coffee.
But that stupid saying sticks with me. I hate things like that, trite little phrases that wrap your life up in a fluffy bow and tell you how to really be yourself. Single serving sayings that go through you about as quickly as the non-fat soy vente latte you just ordered. Somehow I’m never able to fully laugh them off either. Probably because, at some level, they’re true, which is why they’re carved onto little signs in coffeeshops and overlaid on photos of lush forests where hashtags outnumber the pine needles.
So, while those classic outdoor inspirational quotes may be all well and good, I’ve got a few of my own that I think speak to me on a deeper level:
“When you can’t change the direction of the wind, don’t bring a hammock”
“Freedom is a full gas tank and a 64 oz slushy”
“The quieter you become, the harder it is for the bears to find you.”
“Live every day like you woke up with a squirrel in your sleeping bag.”
“The only things that knock in the woods are opportunity and knees. Bears don’t knock”
“Friends are like a belly ache, the more extra food you bring, the more of them you get”
“A man’s time in the woods is not determined by the length of his weekend, but rather by the supply of his toilet paper”
None of those really deserve to go on a little wood plaque in a coffee shop that’s too cool to really care about anything, but I think they’re just as true as the typical inspirational nuggets we get fed, and you don't have to buy a coffee and put a picture of it on Instagram to enjoy them.